Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize