there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
