i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize