Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
