Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
