You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
