If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
