carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
