some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
