I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize