quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
