thus making me awesome and them whores
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
