i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
