What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
