We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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