Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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