Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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