Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
