I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
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