I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
