I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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