You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
