I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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