I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
