Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
