he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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