Whod you bang
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
