it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
