You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
