I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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