did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
