she kept yelling 'call me bella'
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
