walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize