OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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