if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
