this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
