did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So many bounce houses so little time
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
