Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
