Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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