Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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