he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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