i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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