kristin has been a bad kristin
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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