It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
