I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
