I think I am morally bankrupt
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I currently don't understand fingers.
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