my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
