i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
