i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
