Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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