So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
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