i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
