My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
