Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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