I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My breath smells like gin and sadness
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
