He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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