I wish I only lived at night.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
