I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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