please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
