I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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